Blog, Child Loss

#Blogtober18 Day 15 : Ones Who Couldn’t Stay #BabyLossAwarenessWeek

Day 15 of Blogtober 18 and today’s post is going to be a difficult one for me and a difficult day for many many women (and men) out there as we remember the “Ones Who Couldn’t Stay” for Baby Loss Awareness Week and this evenings Wave Of Light.

I’ve always stood by my decision to talk about my child-loss experiences, my pregnancies were my children, my children who didn’t get to live with us, my children who would never experience life and the love I possess. Some people don’t support my decision to talk about my experiences’s (mostly my family) and then others tell me to embrace the 2 amazing children I do have (which of course I do!) but that doesn’t stop me mourning for the gap in my heart and life that will never be filled.

My Story

Just a short story to fill you in what I’ve been through, back in 2010 I suffered a second trimester loss with our second child, Megan, I blogged about her here. Born at 16 weeks. I’d never experienced a loss like this before and the experience absolutely destroyed me. From going through the loss but also the experiences that followed as I was just a broken shell. My marriage and family life suffered and it took me a good 3 years to work my way through it all, by which point Leah had been born and I fought to get my life on some sort of a normal path. It was an incredibly difficult time.

Our second loss came only 2 years ago, I was 6 weeks pregnant this time. Again I blogged about it here. Again this loss rocked my whole mentality, determined not to loose control I kept myself busy wrapping myself in my family but today I still feel extreme sadness and boughts of depression.

Sadly the last miscarriage was also my last pregnancy, as we never managed to conceive again. Being diagnosed with Endometriosis and PCOS these two diagnoses have brought about the end of my fertility.

Baby Loss Awareness Week/Wave Of Light

Each year on the 15th October there is an opportunity to show your support for all those families who have lost babies, at 7pm you can join in with the Wave Of Light. Simply light a candle from 7pm-8pm and post a picture on social media using the hashtag #WaveOfLight.

Throughout the week surrounding this event is also know as #BabyLossAwarenessWeek.

Be sure to share your stories of baby loss or show your support, changing the stigma of baby loss and make it a subject to be openly discussed.

I am taking part in #Blogtober hosted by Big Family Organised Chaos. Why don’t you join in too?




  1. mebecomingmum

    16th October 2018 at 12:08 am

    Sending love, so sorry for your losses. It a so important to keep talking about them though, and sharing our stories <3 #Blogtober18

  2. Kim Carberry

    15th October 2018 at 9:27 pm

    Sending you the biggest of hugs! I am so sorry for your losses x

  3. MotherGeek

    15th October 2018 at 1:46 pm

    I’m also 1 in 4. BIG HUGS XXX

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